STORY TIME by Natface

natface:

I was at the Bioparco Zoo today. I chanced upon these turtles in the reptile house. You must, must click through for the pictures accompanying this tale.

These turtles, they were copulating. See Figure 1, above.

Then, in Fig. 2, the third turtle becomes interested and starts to investigate. Hmm, I think. A turtle menage a trois?

The third turtle starts all climbing up on the female turtle. Soon, and I don’t have a picture of this, the first turtle gets tired, or can’t deliver the goods, and crawls off. The female turtle tries to walk away from this mess.

The third turtle takes this opportunity to try his luck. I do not have a picture of this, but the female is not. into. it. The first turtle comes back over! Et voila:

He knocks the Casanova turtle over and onto his back! Where he stays. I am so flabbergasted that I too stay, for a good five or ten minutes, as he attempts to right himself. Totally unsuccessfully. The female remains impassive, and perhaps smug. After a while, the first male turtle comes over, I think, perhaps to help him!

But no. He just watches, probably doing the turtle version of cackling gleefully, as Casanova struggles.

he’s probably still lying there.

——

HALP! HAAALP!!

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Bonnaroo 2009 Wrap-Up

It’s amazing how fast the whole trip went by. I cannot wrap my brain around the fact that at this very minute last week, I was completely inebriated in Tennessee. It was a great trip, and I wanted to write a bit about it for those who were wondering (namely my friends and family who read this).

We lived in a tented community for five days, and it was pretty much the way I imagine that all humans will be living soon as the robot war ensues (sans the kick ass music stages). I’d like to take a second to list all the acts that I ended up checking out over that trip:

Alberta Cross
People Under The Stairs
Passion Pit
Kaki King
Bela Fleck Toumani Diabate
Santigold
Al Green
Beastie Boys (with special guest, Nas)
David Byrne
Public Enemy
Girl Talk
Rodrgio y Gabriela
Jenny Lewis
Elvis Costello
Nine Inch Nails (apparently, his last U.S. show ever)
MGMT
Phoenix
Dillinger Escape Plan
High On Fire
Shadows Fall
Coheed and Cambria
Snoop Dogg

Like I had mentioned earlier, I played it pretty easy. I made no point to scurry around to catch everything that was going on and went with the flow of however I was feeling at the moment. Even with this laid back mentality, I ended up seeing tons of amazing groups.

The campgrounds themselves had several sink trailers and paid shower stations (Seven dollars to use!) scattered throughout the place. Even though I would later go on and succumb to forking over money for a hot wash on Sunday, I ended up getting by with taking bum showers alongside several others at the sink trailers. It wouldn’t be out of the norm to splash your face, look over, and see a chick or guy washing themselves completely naked. I chose the swimming trunk route probably much to the appreciation of several festival goers.

Along with the six music tents, there were tents designated for movies, comedians, gaming, dancing, and karaoke. They had this thing called the Silent Disco where you’d go in, put on a pair of headphones, and dance your little raver-heart off to a DJ alongside several others. The purpose is to have a rave without disturbing any of the other acts around you, and it looked as ridiculous as it sounds…but it was fun.

I cannot say that I had a particular favorite band, but I had the most fun during the metal stage on Sunday. Also, a special shout out to Lindee and Amanda, our neighbors, who just added to the whole awesomeness of the trip. See you next year!

Upcoming Bonnaroo ‘09 Stories: ‘Truck Stop Hilarity With Bear Barrett’ and ‘Heavy Metal Mayhem Destroyed My Pussy Child”

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